My little daughter, who is almost 15yrs now, came to me one day and asked “will you be Ok If I choose to do many many different kinds of work and move from one work to another till I find the passion. Currently I do not want to devote my life to one work, like I like dance/art/tarvel but do not want to spend all my energies into it or like you are completely devoted to Aarohi, I know I can devote, but I want to explore more before I decide to devote my life for one passion. If require will you financially support me?
We both smiled and she went away jumping
Asa is approaching her 15th bday - conventionally the age to think about “10th exams and the career”. And the thoughts are also triggered by enquiries “is Asawari giving 10th exam, what about 10th for her?”
She does not want to appear for 10th exams now, as she sees no purpose of those exams and we too. She says I do not want to study hard, as I do not know why I need to give 10th exams. I have lot of other things to do. She wants to travel the world and then decide what she wants to do.
She is living her dream. She dreams to travel, gets excited to know about new places. Find more about them, decorating her dreams in her dreams. She is living fearlessly, she knows she is something today and will be something tomorrow and so we do.
- She loves dance and she dances well – but she does not want to become dancer
- She writes well and reads a lot but she does not want to become a write
- She loves working with kids and exhibits lot of facilitation skills 0 but she does not want to become go into education
- She has the skill to pick fine arts like painting etc – but she does not want to become painter.
- She has chosen TRAVEL to explore what she wants to do – Its exciting to know.
After that we never interfered with her or decided for her - Her travel plan was a pleasant surprise and a relief that “we are not taking her decisions” – We would have never thought about travel (as she never showed any obvious skills to travel” :)
She shared “I hated going to these classes, I am good in art/ dance but I do not want to devote my life for it. I liked writing but I did not want to tell you, I was afraid you will put me to any writing classes!!! But like a wise parent you too soon realized what mistake you were doing, I can share with you now!!!
Thank God, We have not done anything for travel, except enjoying with her!!!
At present she is involve in Kitchen and Accounts @ Aarohi. She plans to take kitchen project with complete handling of "community kitchen" @ Aarohi. She is not open to the idea of taking complete break from Aarohi's session and work only on these projects or any other project - as she feel that she still has to learn more through sessions. While she is excited and involved with making of kitchen, she does not want to do only that.
Asawari shares in her blog
(below is a copy paste from her blog)
At this point i don't think i can decide my
future, I can only think about my present. My focus is to live my day with full
fun and enrichment and not worry about tomorrow.
Each moment is precious, cherish it.
My future is in my hand and I will make it the way i want
and i am confident that i am capable and i don't see a reason to worry or
ponder about it now.
Sometimes I do think that if the world is doing so much of
preparation for their future am i missing out something and will I regret my
decision in future but i know I am not alone and my parents and friends are
with me because they have faith in me and my decisions. I know all my decisions
are my decisions and i accept them.
I have many interest in many things like Art, craft and
other fine motor skills, Dancing and cooking. I love reading and
working/playing with children (all ages). I love doing many things and i do it
everyday but i don't see them as a career choice. I don't think i have that
much interest that i can put all my devotion into it and cherish it. I find traveling
the world around and meeting different people exciting and adventurous (even
though I feel shy/nervous around new people). I find it something unusual.
I enjoy reading History, Culture ,knowing about
different kind of people and different places. When i read about a place, I
want to go there, see the place, taste the food, feel the weather and
experience the culture instead of just reading about it. At this point i want
to travel the world but that doesn't mean my future is defined or my career
choice is made. I am ready to experiment with my life, career and not get bound
to something. I want to be free.
People ask
what do you want to become when you grow up? I don't want to become somebody i
want to be me. I don't want to constrain myself to one career. I want to
explore different choices before constraining myself to one. I want to
experience and then decide what i want to put my whole effort in. I am not
certain about my future but i am 100% of my present and at this point that is
enough for me.
10 comments:
Thanks for enabling her to live the way she wanted:)
Its just inspiring to see her the way she is:)
Love,
Shiva.
thanks Aditi for this post. I know I am one of those worried moms who has bugged you with the 10th std question. When I read your blog, this made so much sense. My worries seem to be dissolving with each passing day.
Just simply enjoyed every thought in this blog.Feeling immensly joyous, thanks for sharing.
Can't say anything else :)
"I am not certain about my future but am 100% of my present and at this point that is enough for me."
No body in this earth is sure about their future, at least you know your present :)
This post reminds me of the chapter on "What's parents' role?" from book "A clearer view". It talks about parent child relationship to be of dependence to start with and leading to independence. It talks about challenges in reaching the goal of independence. One challenge is to allow children to make their own decisions and avoid (parental) intervention. I can see that you have clearly crossed this challenge.
The question is a very good and def. thought provoking.
The way our education system is designed, 10th exam serves no other purpose but to get the child eligible for giving the 12th and which in turn is designed to enable the child to pass a "career" enabling degree exam
While there is reason to disbelieve in the merits of giving 10th exam, the question however is also what is the harm in giving 10th exam. It is not necessary to come first, or pass with distinction, but it is sort of an insurance policy which enables the child to also have something to fall back on , if required.
By conforming to certain "laws of the land" it should not always be seen an succumbing to them and letting go of our own dreams and freedom.
Tomorrow if she decided to make a career in any particular field, degrees/ qualifications (mind you, i am not using the word education), would be important, to raise funds,apply for certifications of the course etc
Alternatively, and I am not a SME in this, there could be other exams linked to some of the other interest areas shown by her, which could help her move forward in "qualifications" and still pursue her dreams.
Just some thoughts... Hope she continues her quest to find exactly what she really wants to do..
With love to her
Apoorva
To Aditi and Ratnesh -
Kudos to you.Childhood is about exploring the possibilities that life has. You have let Asawari do all the exploring that a child needs. The responsibility of parents and society is to make a child aware of the good, the bad and the ugly. Children should be aware of everything otherwise how will they know what is wrong and what is to be avoided.
Winston Churchill said, You make a living from what you get, you make a life from what you give". Today most of us spend most of our lives making a living. It is time we realized our mistake and at least let our children make a life.
To Asawari -
You are on the right track. All I would say is heed to advice that relates to your safety and security when you are traveling. Other than that go explore the world to your hearts content - that is what the world is there for.
About your varied interests - who says that you should stick to one profession?? You can share your many talents and still make a living - you can do a dance program in one city, then travel to another city and do something of value there that best suits that environment and so on. You don't have to chose one colour from your spectrum of talents. You can chose all the colours of the spectrum at the same time and be the white light that the colours of the spectrum add up to -be the sunshine that you really are. I believe that every child is sunshine and society strips some of the colours during its growth and they think that the colours that are left are prettier than white light. My personal goal is to let children continue to be the sunshine throughout their lives - only then will we witness lasting universal peace in this world. All the best on your journey of uncertainty and continue to be yourself not just for now but forever.
Hasmukh Sapnawala
email hasmukh_s26@yahoo.co.in
As Sir Ken Robinson says degrees are worth nothing in today's world (see TED video http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html). The education system, degrees and qualifications were made to feed workers to the industries in the industrial world of yesteryear. That has already passed. As educator John Holt says degrees or qualifications are needed only if one wants to be in a profession which directly affects life or death of people. For example - a doctor or a pilot. They have to demonstrate the basic minimum knowledge and skill to ensure they will not end up killing people. For that we need exams, qualifications, degrees and certificates. There does not seem to be any other use of a degree or qualification.
As per the blog Asawari has not yet decided what she wants to do in future. In that case she has to think - what if she discovers her passion is something that demands degrees and qualifications and certificates? Going back and giving these exams years down the line can be frustrating. Since she has not yet discovered her passion it may be useful to give the exam and have the "certificate". That is the price she has to pay for not yet discovering her passion!
Wanted to share this quote with Asawari:
Not all those who wander are lost.
~ J.R.R. Tolkien
Thank you all for your thoughts and loving messages.
For her the journey began a year back with "why 10th and what is 10th examination?"
She has been meeting people who think both ways - essential, not essential.
For her it is much easier to not to think and follow the path without thinking but much difficult to understand and own her decision. She has to work harder in later case:).
So, yes different perspectives will help her.
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